Following a lengthy apparent absence, I’ve returned with a spanking new review of King’s Bounty: Armored Princess. This game, like its predecessor King’s Bounty: The Legend, would probably have eluded most of your game-detection radars, given that neither the franchise nor the developer is very well-known. However, that does not prevent the 2 games from being fun and rewarding to play.

King’s Bounty: Armored Princess can be described of as similar to the Heroes of Might and Magic games in terms of combat and exploration. However, unlike those games, KB:AP removes the empire-building aspect of gameplay and replaces it with a richer RPG experience, complete with a lengthy main quest and a bevy of side-quests. It also provides an extensive selection of troops and spells to choose from, allowing players to field an array of different strategies and tactics to deal with different battles. So, how does KB:AP stand up to closer scrutiny?

Good Points

+ Lengthy Gameplay – A game that provides enough quests to require more than a week of my time is certainly considered lengthy, given my decidedly awe-inspiring gaming credentials. As was mentioned above, a plethora of quests exist in the game, so that you may fully satiate your thirst for mission-completion.

+ Wide Range of Tactics – Having many different troops, some of which are weak or strong against certain attacks, expand the tactical possibilities available to you. For example, you might not employ fire spiders in a battle against dragons, but instead include the dragon-slaying knight in your army in a stunning display of strategic brilliance. Rounding out the package are the standard spells of healing, haste, stoneskin, etc, all of which allow a tactical genius to manipulate the battlefield to his advantage.

+ Simple Game Mechanics – For a game of such scope, it is good to see that the mechanics are simple and intuitive. The optional tutorial is brief but comprehensive, covering the simple but essential points of the game. Seasoned players of the Heroes of Might and Magic games will feel right at home here.

+ Princess Amelie – I think Princess Amelie, as depicted in the main menu image, is hot. ‘Nuff said.

Neutral Points

= Static Difficulty – Most people would prefer that the difficulty of a particular foe remain static throughout the game. It gives player a sense of growth when you see an enemy described as “lethal” now, but come back 10 levels later and see the same enemy described as “weak”. However, because some main quest battles are fiendishly difficult, static difficulty might mean that you become unable to progress in the game.

= Difficult Bosses – Surprise! This game contains boss fights! And goodness, are the bosses difficult! While it is possible to defeat many of the common enemies roaming around the map without suffering any troop losses, it is possible to get your entire army wiped out when fighting bosses. This is, of course, a fitting behavior for bosses, but the stunningly large variance in difficulty might turn off some players.

= Stealthily Weak Story – At the risk of being flamed for revealing spoilers, I’ll directly say that the main quest is a glorified fetch quest. However, it’s hidden behind various plot points and, coupled with the distraction caused by the substantial amount of side-quests, it’s not likely that this fact will bother you, unless you’re exceptionally particular about the quality of your main quest.

= Wandering Enemies – Enemy troops follow a set patrol path on the game map, allowing you to exploit this feature to sneak past some of them and get at the shiny treasure beyond. However, they also have an aggro range, and some will pursue you if you happen to enter this range. It is, of course, possible to outrun and even outwit their rudimentary AI by juking them, but in my opinion, stationary enemies like those in Heroes of Might and Magic would have been fine.

= Spotty Combat Pathfinding – The pathfinding for your units on the battlefield is disappointingly sub-par, and letting the AI do the pathfinding for you can sometimes result in irretrievable catasthrophe. While the pathfinding will maximise the damage dealt by, say, horsemen, it will usually choose a poor path for the Red Dragon to traverse on it’s Fire Flood ability. Furthermore, there is an aggravating tendency for your own troops to obtusely step on your own traps, making careful micromanagement of the pathfinding a necessary skill to possess.

Bad Points

- Tedious – The game threatens to descend into the dark pit of tedium quite a few times. This fact becomes exceptionally apparent when your army grows strong enough to steamroll all common opposition in just the first turn of combat. Even though we know that this is done in the name of leveling up to gain an even larger advantage over opponents, it does not make it any easier. Veterans of grindfests should have no problems dealing with this, but for other players, it is important to note that grinding is extra crucial in this game, and you’ll see why in the next point.

- Dead-End – It is possible to play yourself into a dead end due to certain poor choices made at any point during the game. Whether or not the problem exists between the keyboard and chair is of little consequence; a poor choice at the start should not lead to an impasse later in the game. Factors which might cause this to happen range from not grinding the bonus-bestowing achievements, to losing too many troops and running out of money or troops to hire. When this happens, you’ll swiftly discover that all remaining enemies are out of your league. With no available means to close that gap, you will find that you have effectively played yourself into a dead end.

It would appear that, despite certain good features, the possibility of a game-breaking event happening is a very serious flaw. However, by making careful choices and making the correct moves, it becomes easier to stave off this horrific event, allowing the positive aspects of the game to shine through. If you have some time to spare and you liked Heroes of Might and Magic, definitely give King’s Bounty: Armored Princess a try.

Finally, as an omake for the anime-watchers, do take some time to check out this moderately humorous webpage(Slightly NSFW).

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past few days, you would likely have heard that Japan’s Burger King is celebrating the launch of Windows 7 with the Windows 7 Whopper. With 7 times the meat content of a normal Whopper burger, it was set to bring many brave souls to their knees. The purpose of this post, therefore, is to demonstrate the eating of the Windows 7 Whopper.

I believe I know of a few people who would really be interested in getting their hands on one of these, but it looks like they’ll be disappointed, since we don’t have Windows 7 Whopper here. Better luck next time, i guess.

It is with great anticipation that I await the coming of AFA ‘09. This event, which is just over a month away, promises to bring heightened levels of moe to the host country. One of the newest “attractions” this year is the inception of this seemlingly gimmicky experience zone called the “Moe Moe Kyun Maid Cafe“

On the surface, a maid cafe appears to be a great idea. It can serve to bring in the crowd, especially curious people who have yet to perceive what exactly the contents of a maid cafe are. Certainly, the image of cute girls in maid outfits coquettishly serving you tea is hard to resist. The deluge of animes containing fanservice episodes of maid cafes further prove the potential profitability of such a venture. However, the reality might turn out to be more monstrous than initially envisioned. My feelings changed wildly from when I first heard about the maid cafe, to when I appraised the quality of maids hired. I’ll let the following picture demonstrate this change of feeling.

I’ll not bother to make any conclusions of my own, but instead leave the reader to make his/her own conclusion. Instead, I’ll launch into a brief discussion on moe. Consider the possible existence of a character with the following combination of mostly popular moe traits:
Tsundere DFC Loli Maid Robot with Twintails.

If you’ve been lurking in the relevant places in the internet, you will swiftly agree with me that certain groups of people place high emphasis on each of these traits. Therefore, it is not incorrect to call them moe traits.

A conventional expectation among the general populace is that moe traits stack directly. This implies that someone with 6 moe traits is 6 times more moe than someone with only 1 moe trait. My contention is that this common notion is wrong, and that moe traits stack diminishingly. I’ll go out on a limb now and say that the rate at which it diminishes is an arbitrary value determined by the number of traits present, the degree of success of the implementation of each individual trait, and the quality of the subject in question. Since it is probably impossible to prove the invalidity of my statement, you’ll have to accept my postulate at face value.

Let us now examine a case study.

This is Yui, from the anime OVA Koharu Biyori. Before we proceed further, let us define a few variables.

Let S = the set containing the moe traits listed above.
Then, |S| = 6, and P(S) = power set of S.
Assume there exist Y = the set containing the moe traits of Yui.
Furthermore, it is given that Y is an element in P(S).
From background information, we also know that Y contains at least the elements loli, maid, robot, and twintails.

If we were to compare Yui with, say, Maria from Hayate no Gotoku based on a direct stacking effect, we can see that Yui holds an overwhelming advantage. However, in reality, this is not exactly the case. Maria currently holds the 22nd position in this year’s International Saimoe League, while Yui is nowhere to be found in both 2009 and 2008’s competition. From this, we can either draw the inference that Koharu Biyori is a totally unheard-of show, or that my conjecture is the superior one. Readers who are interested in confirming my observation may utilise any available means to peruse the aforementioned shows, in order to arrive at the same conclusion as I did.

So, after rambling for a few hundred words, what does this all mean for the soon-to-be ill-fated Moe Moe Kyun Cafe? Actually, nothing much really. It’s just that trying to appeal to attendees of AFA ‘09 using maids alone is not enough. They need to bring in the lolis, kemonomimi, twintails, bunny girls, zettai ryouiki, etc, then combine them all into an explosive mix of ownage. It doesn’t really matter if the traits stack diminishingly, really. As long as each moe trait adds positively to the result, just throw it in! They can’t really go too wrong with that. If they accidentally end up with some abomination, hell, people would pay to see abominations. That’s why freak shows exist.

So, to end off this post, I’ll give you a Youtube video, to thank you for your patience in reading this article. Lyrics are here.

Now, before you feel distraught about my apparently deviant inclinations, rest assured that any such machinations remain firmly locked within the deepest recesses of my mind. I certainly look upon the actual execution of such acts as heinous and devious, not to mention violating a fundamental tenet of our faith.

**Update**
If you’re too lazy to read the review, you can watch Yahtzee’s review right here.
**/Update**

About a week ago, I embarked on a multi-mission mission (lol x_x) to rid history of those who would see it changed, and recently, during a spate of free time, I gained the opportunity to see this quest to its completion. Therefore, I now present to you my review of the latest game to be completed by me, Darkest of Days.

The premise of Darkest of Days is that a certain organisation with time-travelling abilities is trying to alter the course of history, notably by the elimination of certain historic personnel while they are fighting in certain wars in humanity’s tumultuous history. It is up to you, in the employ of another time-travel-capable organisation, to thwart the nefarious plans of these chrono-villians. Specifically, you are to travel incognito back in time to the American Civil War and World War 1 to ensure that the aforementioned people survive the wars despite interference from pesky interlopers. So, just how good is this game actually?

Good Points

+ Large Battles – Unlike modern warfare, where a few people shoot each other from 500 miles away, battles of 19th century are typically up-close and personal, and involve up to tens of thousands of people dying left and right. This experience has been recreated in Darkest of Days, allowing you to feel like you are taking part in a large battle.

+ Futuristic Advantages – During particular sequences, you will be presented with futuristic weaponry with which you can unleash futuristic hell upon the unsuspecting primitives of the 19th and 20th century. For example, you get to wield fully automatic rifles with in-built auto-aim feature against Union soldiers using single-shot muskets. In another instance, you get to use a sniper rifle with automatic trajectory calculation to slaughter German hordes at extreme distances. These sections provide a very satisfying experience.

+ Clear Objectives – Most of the time, objectives are clearly marked out on your map, so you will rarely get lost. Furthermore, enemies and allies are marked on your map too, allowing you to pick your targets with extreme prejudice.

+ Amazing Plot Device – A particular plot device near the end of the game was so amazing that I was bowled over by its ingenuity. I will not describe this plot device because that would be revealing a spoiler. However, suffice to say that it’s not everyday that you see time travel being used in the way it was used.

Neutral Points

= Zombie Hordes – Although I have described the size of battles in this game as a good point, the participants of the battles are reminiscent of zombie hordes in Left 4 Dead. Sure, they do not shamble around the battlefield, and they are capable of using their firearms, but their AI is not very advanced, and they’re not fantastic at using cover. During a part in the game, I was able to witness a horde of about 50 German soldiers flood out of a warehouse through a narrow door. Similarities can be drawn to Left 4 Dead, where zombies sometimes spawn in the room beside you during a panic event and rush out en masse to be cut down by a hail of bullets. If you like killing zombies, you would find this to be utterly enjoyable, but otherwise, you might become disgusted at their rudimentary AI instead.

= Smoke – There’s a lot of smoke in this game, and I think the smoke is quite realistic. Every shot you make from your musket makes a small smoke puff, and this smoke puff does sometimes obscure your view. It’s a contrived mechanic to keep you moving in the face of enemies firing at you, to be sure, but moving around is a good thing when enemies are firing at you. If you like to hunker down behind sandbags and take pot shots at the enemy, you would find this annoying, but if you’re a gun-and-run type of person, this is not that much of an issue, and it’s more likely that you will appreciate the smoky environs.

= Upgrades – Who doesn’t love upgrades? There’s even a flash game dedicated to upgrading! There’s quite a bit of upgrades you can buy in Darkest of Days, but there’s also one entire page of useless upgrades, so I’m not too sure if having upgrades at all is that good of an idea.

Bad Points

- Quick-time Reload – They had this stupid system in Gears of War where you press the reload button to start the reload process, then time the second press to gain a reload bonus. An absolutely retarded system, in my opinions, and one I hoped I would not have to see again. Guess what, I’m wrong! This imbecilic mechanic shows its ugly countenance in Darkest of Days too! Hopefully you got enough practice in Gears of War, because you’ll be needing it when using that single-shot musket which

requires you to reload after every shot.

- Aimbotting enemies – I’m sure you have had your share of games where enemies fire through shrubbery with pinpoint accuracy even though your view of them is completely obscured. Many VALVe games, most notably Left 4 Dead, are guilty of this. It is exceedingly annoying when apparent concealment is entirely ineffective at providing said function. That most of the game takes place in forested areas does not help matters at all.

Well, it would seem that Darkest of Days is not a terribly outstanding shooting game, other than the fact that it allows you to go on a rampage with overpowered weapons. Most of the things you find here can be found in other better games, of course. However, the basic gameplay is done pretty well here, so the game is not unplayable. If you have a few hours to spare and would like to decimate an invading army with a multiple-launching mini-missile device, you should definitely give this game a try.

After a long hiatus of laziness, I bring to you Frantic 2. Frantic 2 is the sequel to the ever-popular Frantic, also produced by the same person.

Frantic 2, like Frantic, is a vertical shooting game along the lines of Touhou. However, if the producer’s goal was to reproduce the chair-gripping excitement of Touhou games, then I deem that his attempt is a distinct failure. Despite what its name might suggest, Frantic 2 is actually a very relaxing game, even on the Frantic difficulty level. I would probably rate it as easier than the easy mode of most Touhou games. Contrary to common expectations, Frantic 2 is best played with a mouse, so that you can have the luxury of drinking your favourite beverage or eating your favourite snack while cruising through the idyllic levels.

First and foremost, it’s worth noting that the projectiles in Frantic are few and far between, presenting large spaces of emptiness for you to glide through. Secondly, most projectiles move at a leisurely pace, casually enjoying the passing background as they stroll in your direction. Thirdly, player health is found in abundance, and this health is replenished across levels, so the probability of player death is non-positive number. All of these factors combined to make Frantic 2 one of the easiest vertical-scrolling shooter you’ll ever encounter in your life.

Therefore, if you have a few minutes to spare and would like to unwind after a day of hard work, why not try out Frantic 2 at the frantic difficulty? Who knows, it might even calm down your roiling emotions somewhat, aiding in a good night’s sleep.

Oh yes, I there’s still that matter about AFA ‘09 that I was going to write about. I’m sure many of you have heard that AFA ‘09 would be having a maid cafe. Since nobody would be interested in having standard Filipino maids serve them coffee, the organisers have wisely opted to employ Singaporean girls instead. On the other hand, intelligent readers will realise that whether or not their wisdom reflects their eye for beauty is an entirely separate matter. While I would not deign to pass judgment on the girls, you can easily navigate over to the above-linked webpage to determine for yourself the quality of the employees.

However, the beauty of the girls is not the point of this discourse. In this short post, I simply want to present 2 pictures to you, such that hopefully, you might feel as amused as I do if you happen to think the same as me.

Here is a picture of one of the girls employed:

And here is a picture of Yuriko Omega, from Red Alert 3:

I’ll leave you to draw the appropriate conclusions for yourself. Until next time~!

From the one who brought to you Music Euphoria and Mind Impulse comes this short but intense vertical-scrolling shooter, Super Extreme 5 Minute Shoot Em Up. Masters of Touhou games should have no problem beating this game easily, because although the projectiles are faster, there are far fewer of them flying around the screen.

While the game supports 2-player mode using WASD and arrow keys, an anti-social such as myself has only his own 2 hands to rely upon. Playing with both hands and controlling 2 ships adds a certain degree of fun and challenge on top of the core gameplay, increasing the replay value of this game.

When playing with both hands, I managed to get 5819300 (Sky Master rank) using my right hand and 5515500 (Super Insane) using my left hand. My tactic for taking down the bosses is to focus fire from both ships on each of the boss’ weapons, thus reducing the number of projectiles I’ll have to dodge. Your experiences may vary depending on your skill level.

Do tell me your scores after you’ve given it a play-through. I’m sure that the scores I posted are nowhere close to my maximum capabilities, so do give me some incentive to improve my score further.

I accidentally stumbled over the following vocabulary test while browsing a certain forum I frequent. Unlike most vocabulary tests which “offer 4 answers almost identical in their similitude” (as claimed by the original poster), this test simply present two words, of which you are to determine if they’re (almost) synonymous or (almost) antonymous.

Here is the test.

If the test mysteriously lags for you on the browser you’re using, feel free to change to another browser. There have been reports of the test utterly lagging on Firefox, after all.

In any case, it would appear that despite continual practice, I’ve yet to attain a high level of vocabulary mastery. My dismal score of 147 out of 200 (with most of them being wild guesses) indicate my insufficient exposure to many esoteric words, resulting in the failure we’re seeing today. Given my disappointing score, I’m already expecting that my readers would demonstrate a far greater level of intelligence and better grasp of the English language than me. Of course, using the dictionary to cheat is a dishonourable act and will be frowned upon. Please refrain from such inglorious behaviour as it would reflect poorly upon your morals.

After 3 months of gruelling on-and-off grinding, I’m happy to report that I’ve finally completed The Last Remnant last week. As with my previous reviews, I’ve taken the liberty of delaying the conception of this post until I’ve completed the game so that I can declare that I have the full experience under my belt before writing the review. If you have yet to be convinced by other reviews about whether this game is suitable for you (even after so long), hopefully my review will assist you in making a swift and decisive judgement regarding this issue.

As many of you would have known by now, the PC version of the game is a significant upgrade over the earlier Xbox360 version, introducing various new features, gameplay improvements and fixes to technical problems which plague the unfortunate Xbox360 iteration. Thankfully, because I do not possess an Xbox360, I was able to elude this entertainment disaster during the game’s debut. Clearly, if anyone is to play The Last Remnant, he or she should definitely play it on the PC.

The Last Remnant is produced by Square Enix, the company which also brought us the venerable Final Fantasy franchise and the Star Ocean Franchise. Undoubtedly, this means that the game is an unavoidable grindfest, and I’ve bravely faced this daunting task head-on to bring you this review.

Good Points

+ Deep Strategic Options – There’s a large pool of available characters to choose from, and you can put up to 18 of them into up to 5 unions. This means that each person can have widely different arrangements of characters to face different battles. Do you choose to have 2 combat-centric unions with 1 magic-using union and 1 healing union, or go for balance in all of your unions? The possibility are as endless as the stars. However, take note that strategy is not the same as tactics, which is more about the individual skills you choose to employ during each turn in the battles themselves.

+ Varied abilities – There are a few hundred skills available for learning by your characters, grouped into skill sets. Characters usually start out with the most basic of skills and will improve the skill and unlock new skills in the skill set as you fight in battle. This keeps things fresh and ensures you will rarely use the same skill more than a few times every battle.

+ Powerful abilities – The skills of your party members can get pretty powerful as the game progresses, granting you significant pleasure out of trampling puny monsters under your boot. Battlefield-wide spells and unique arts available to specific characters allow you to repeatedly lay the hurt on enemies while you laugh with wild abandon. Note that since many bosses are very tough (as they rightly should be), usage of these skills may simply provide you with a much-needed reprieve instead of bestowing unbridled joy, such as when you use them on low-level mobs.

+ Pretty visuals – Not quite approaching the standards of Crysis yet, but prettier than many other Japanese RPGs on the market right now. The anime-style designs should already be familiar to those who have played other Japanese games before, and it serves as eye-candy for the jaded gamer who has had his fill of grim-looking games like Fallout 3 and Dead Space.

+ Shoot first, befriend later – Square Enix developers are definitely members of the Church of Nanoha, because you get to recruit defeated enemies as party members! Just as Nanoha gets chummy with Fate and the Wolkenritter after multiple lovely and arousing tussles, so too do you get to make friends with fallen foes after giving them a sound lesson in not provoking their betters. Certainly, nothing screams “success” more than turning enemies into friends.

Neutral Points

= Semi-cliché storyline – As proof of this point, I shall detail a certain conversation with a certain friend who has no prior knowledge about The Last Remnant.

Him: Is the main protagonist an androgynous-looking guy?
Me: Yes.
Him: Hmm… are you trying to save… hmm… your kidnapped sister?
Me: …………………………… Yes.

This conversation can prove a few things. 1: My friend is a psychic. 2: The Last Remnant has a cliché storyline. I’m sure the reader can determine for himself/herself which is more plausible.

That is not to say the story is wholly cliché, however, as the sister-saving stint only accounts for half of the main plotline. The other half is more epic in proportions and manages to present multiple surprises and plot twists, although it is still possible to foresee these plot twists if you are an experienced analyst of stories.

= Lots of loot and monster drops – Those of you who have played Monster Hunter might be accustomed to the system of hunting monsters to upgrade your weapon to hunt tougher monsters to upgrade your weapon further so that you can hunt even tougher monsters, etc etc… Well, you get the point. The fact that there are so many monsters and weapons means you’ll have a field day with grinding monster drops. I initially wanted to put this as a bad point, but since Monster Hunter exists and is a successful series, then by extension of logic, there must also be masochists like me who are not above such grinding. Hence, the reason for me putting this as a neutral point.

Bad Points

- Flawed battle system – Despite what many people have said, the battle system is decidedly flawed. You are only able to choose between several responses for your unions each turn, and the characters in the union will use a skill suitable for that responses. You are unable to directly choose the skill a character will use, although you’re able to preview which skills they will use before choose a response. This flawed battle system will sometimes not allow you to use healing abilities if your health is almost full, or waste a high-level healing spell to heal minor damage at other times. Furthermore, this also means you are not able to consistently use your most powerful abilities even though you have enough action points to sustain them. Nonetheless, the AI will occasionally reassess the situation mid-turn and change the queued ability to something more suitable. For those of you obsessive-compulsive gamers (such as myself) who must control every single thing your characters do, this abstraction is a recurrent annoyance and can be the source of many a frustration.

- Random mob spawns – This by itself would not be that much of a problem, especially in other games. It would even keep things fresh by mixing up the monster spawns to keep you guessing. However, in this game, the random mob spawn system only manages to cause endless frustrations, mainly because most weapon upgrade components can only be found on very specific monsters. The uncertainty of whether the desired monster will spawn in the map will lead to the player entering and exiting the area countless times. Even if the desired monsters do spawn, there’s no guarantee that the desired item will drop. This horrible monster spawn system unmistakably puts the “grind” in “grindfest”.

- Unclear gameplay elements – Many of the intricacies and even basic elements of the game are not immediately apparent, for example, weapon upgrade paths, quest rewards, skill progressions, etc. Furthermore, side quests that can disappear due to certain events are not immediately obvious, and indeed, some side quests can mysteriously disappear without rhyme or reason, making for a thoroughly puzzling game. Luckily, there are guides available on the internet which elaborate in detail on these facets of the game. However, it is my belief that the onus is on the developers of the game to provide ample information that will lead to satisfying gameplay, without having to rely on external guidance. In this aspect, i deem the developers to have failed miserably.

From the points above, it can be deduced that the flaws of the game are rather severe, so much so that the good points might be unable to alleviate these shortcomings. Then again, as I’ve indicated right at the start of this post, The Last Remnant is a grindfest, which by standard definition means that it’s unsuitable for the common cattle incapable of devoting time and effort into such lengthy games. People who are tolerant of grindfests should also have no problems with looking for guides online to maximise their character progression. Therefore, the only other issue to consider is the flawed combat system. The determined player would soon get used to the odd combat system, and could even exploit it to his own advantage. If you are able to do that, then the combat system also ceases to be an issue.

I’m sure not many of you have 3 months to spare, but the most basic play-through of the main storyline should take you only about 2 weeks or so. If you do have 2 weeks, feel free to give The Last Remnant a try – you might even like it so much that you’ll continue to play it for another 2.5 months.

The last time I brought to you “Noobs In My Newspaper”, it was regarding a DotA noob who demonstrated an utter incapability for playing the reworked Storm Spirit properly. This time, it’s a reporter who has proven herself worthy of the title of “noob”.

If you do not have a copy of the local morning English newspaper, I’ve kindly attached the article in question below, in the form of a picture. Pay special attention to the pictures and their captions.

It is my belief that reporters should verify the authenticity of information given to them by interviewees, particularly if said information is meant to be factual in nature. Such information should be cross-referenced with other sources, as we were taught in Social Studies, to ensure that they’re accurate and reliable. Therefore, it is extremely perplexing that a few errors have managed to creep into this admittedly short write-up on the recently-concluded Cosfest VIII.

Error 1: “… Dante, an evil character…”

Well, I’ve no idea if the reporter is on crack or other reality-altering drugs while writing this article, but Dante in Devil May Cry 3 is definitely a far cry from “evil”. This misinformation disguised as fact would hold slightly more water if it was describing Dante from Devil May Cry 4, as he was an antagonist for about half of that game. Even given that premise though, there is still no reason to call Dante evil, because an antagonist need not be evil. Furthermore, Dante isn’t really evil in the first place anyway.

Error 2: “… Sikieiki costume from the game Doujin.”

WTF is this shit!?!? Shitsux reporter doesn’t know WTF she’s blabbering on about? Trying to act pro to Touhou pro by passing off “Doujin” as a synonym of Touhou??? That retarded bitch should just go rot in hell! WTF, like, Doujin is a category of sorts, not a game title in itself LOL! Like, you know, get your facts right, dumbshit! She should, like, just go back to Secondary School or something, and let the pros do the reporting. ~_~

Hopefully, from this post, you might be made more aware of the various shortcomings and failures of not just newspapers, but also other news-delivery mechanisms. As educated and enlightened personnel, we are empowered with the skills and judgement required to spot such devious deceptions, even if they may be overlooked by the rest of the oblivious populace. Hence, we must put in extra effort to spot these purposeful misdirection that are present in our media, and rise up as one to denounce these heathens who would otherwise pollute our minds by spouting blasphemy.

Well… this isn’t really a new murder thriller movie per se, but with 7/8/9 (going by American convention) behind us, let us take a look at this spoof that cracked.com brought to us.

http://www.cracked.com/video_17571_789-because-today-should-have-its-own-retarded-movie.html

It isn’t entirely true that 7/8/9 occurs only every 100 years, because in about 1 month’s time, it will occur again, going by the other convention used in other parts of the world. But honestly, I wouldn’t pay to see that movie even if it came out in theatres. Just like the minesweeper movie spoof trailer, there’s almost nothing that will sustain the interest past 5 minutes of initial hilarity.